There are many factors in maintaining a healthy, loving and lasting relationship with your significant other; trust, honesty, fidelity and communication. How many of us are in a relationship but aren’t sure what our girlfriend’s, boyfriend’s, husband’s or wive’s goals are? An even bigger question might be, “Do our goals conflict?”
Sometimes goals are very personal and do not directly impact another person. Some goals on the other hand may require huge life changes or taking a direction that your companion isn’t comfortable taking. When conflicts like this arise, and likely they will, what can a person do?
First, talk to your partner. Be direct, honest and open about why the goal is important to you. Express yourself in a constructive way, don’t get defensive or accuse your partner of being unsupportive. Maybe they just don’t understand your reason for wanting to do something. It is possible that they are afraid and worry about your well-being. Remember, they love you.
Second, listen to their feelings. Not only listen to what they say, but really try to understand how they feel. How would you feel if you were in their shoes? Be honest. Don’t just tell yourself you’d be supportive because that is what you want from them.
Third, come to an agreement. Don’t try to win an arguement, instead, find compromise. Getting your way at the expense of your partner’s feelings will only damage the relationship. Try to find a solution that works for both of you.
Relationships can be strengthened through sharing common goals. Maybe the goal is going to Hawaii next winter, or working together to remodel the upstairs bathroom. Maybe the goal is to become debt-free. Whatever the goal, having something to work on together forms strong emotional bonds in relationships.
Even with mutual goals, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about those goals. There may be lingering uncertainty and open and honest dialogue will help to resolve any anxiety your partner may have.
Talk to your partner, share your dreams and walk through life hand in hand accomplishing everything you desire in life. Life is more fun when there is someone to share the joy of success, and much easier when they are there to offer support and motivation when the goal seems impossible.
“Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.”