The first time I ever shot a machine gun was in Arizona.

I walked into the gun store and felt just like a kid in a candy store. After looking around for a while, I was asked if I needed any help. I wanted to shoot an UZI.

“Sign here.”

“Sign there.”

After some brief instructions on the basic operation of the weapon I was shooting paper terrorists. With each squeeze of the trigger, the gun rattled in my hands. After a couple of quick bursts, I held the trigger down and emptied the thirty round magazine.

I was grinning from ear to ear.

Before the last bullet was fired, I knew I’d be doing it again.

And I did. A couple of years later in Las Vegas.

This time I wanted to shoot something a little “bigger” than the UZI. My weapon of choice this time was the M249 SAW.

My opponent: a zombie clown.

I pulled the gun up to my shoulder, aimed right between the clown’s eyes and let the lead fly. It didn’t take long for the bullets to run out … and for the clown to have more than a few holes in its face.

I have to say, I’d do it again.

I will do it again!