Wants Versus Wishes

Everything you have in life is because you wanted it. The things you own, the people you surround yourself with and the things you do each day are all your creation. Your decision to want that in your life.

You keep what you want, ignore or remove what you don’t.

You might hate your job but the truth is, you don’t want to leave because you’re afraid of the unknown. You want the comfort of knowing what comes tomorrow.

Your relationship might’ve been over a long time ago but you don’t want to leave because you don’t want to be alone. There is safety in pairs.

You’re always broke and never able to get ahead but you don’t want to work another job to make more money. You can’t afford that new purse but you want it, so you put it on your credit card.

You don’t want to leave your job. You don’t want to find someone new (or be alone.) You don’t want to have money in the bank.

You don’t want to be active. You don’t want to be skinny.

You don’t want to travel the world.

You don’t want to learn how to speak Italian.

You might think you want these things. But you don’t.

You don’t want any of it.

But you wish you did.

And there’s a difference between wanting something and wishing for something.

If you want something, you’ll make it happen. You’re willing to sacrifice whatever you need in order to have the things you want in life. If you hate your job, you’re willing to risk opening the door into the unknown to find work that’s rewarding.

If you’re not happy in your relationship, you might wish things were different. But if you want them to be different, then you’ll do whatever it takes to try to fix what’s broken or have the courage to leave and be alone.

If you don’t want to be broke anymore, you’ll find a way to get out of debt and start saving money. You’ll quit spending money on shit you don’t need. You’ll pick up extra hours at work or find another job. Maybe you’ll start a side hustle to earn extra money.

If you want to travel the world but you’re not traveling the world, you don’t really want to. You’re just wishing.

You don’t want to be fit and healthy. You’re just wishing.

It’s time for you to stop wishing and start wanting. Want it bad enough to make it happen.

Wanting without action is still wishing.

Don’t wish your life away.

Life, Interrupted

Even the best of intentions don’t always go as planned.

You can spend your entire life preparing for tomorrow only to have those plans derailed in an instant, forever changing (or forcing you to change) the direction of your life; an unplanned pregnancy puts your goals for the future on hold; a death in the family reminds you that life is short … too short to languish in a relationship with a partner who criticizes your every move; a job loss leaves you scrambling to make ends meet; or a diagnosis stamps an expiration date on your life.

How can you persevere and persist during these moments of difficulty?

Accept the things you cannot change. Recognize reality for what it is, not what you wish it were. Don’t continue ignoring your situation … quit acting like everything will be okay. Stop fighting against the truth and embrace reality so you can move your life forward. If you’re diagnosed with a terminal illness, don’t pretend your time here is limitless. Fight like hell for a cure, and embrace what time you have left.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~ V. Frankl

Take a wider look. It’s easy to be consumed by the details of the moment. Consider your situation in the context of a broader perspective. Our struggles are temporary; time will afford us an opportunity to see things more clearly. The moment we learn that someone close to us has died, our world falls to pieces. As time goes on, we’re more able to accept that death is as much a part of life as is birth; that it’s something we’ll each face one day.

Change your thinking. If you can’t change something, change the way you think about it. Rather than focusing on the worst that could happen, think of the best that might come. Instead of how much you’ve yet to do, consider how far you’ve come.

“A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes.” ~ Gandhi

Learn your lesson. These situations are an opporunity to gain perspective and will change your outlook on life. If you’ve lost your job, you might come to realize money isn’t everything. Walking away from an emotionally void relationship will make you appreciate exactly how capable you really are. Don’t let an opportunity for growth slip by as you distance yourself from these periods of your life. Pause to reflect on the lessons you’ve learned through these experiences.

Find Support. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people.

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” ~ J. Rohn

Choose wisely.

Despite the feeling of familiarity, your life will never be the same. Your only choice is to move forward into this strange new world to build your future upon a new foundation; one of fresh perspective, a different understanding, and a revitalized sense of purpose.

Who’s in Control of Your Life?

There are two types of people in the world: those who believe they’re in control of their lives, and those who think what happens to them is the result of fate or destiny. I’m a firm believer that people have complete control over their lives, and that we’re all responsible for the lives we’re living today. The decisions you made yesterday got you to where you are now, and the decisions you make today will determine where your life is tomorrow.

If you’re not happy with your life, change it.

Does your relationship suck? Fix it. If you can’t fix it, leave. Hate your job? Quit. Do work you value. Broke? Quit spending money and pay off your debts. Want to travel the world? Buy a plane ticket. Sick of being fat? Exercise.

If you feel like you’ve lost control of your life, what can you do to get it back?

Start taking responsibility for your life. You can’t change the past, but you can change tomorrow with the choices you make today. Keep doing what you’ve been doing, and nothing will change. You have to leave your comfort zone if you ever expect things to change.

Ignore the expectations of others. It’s your life, live it how you want. Ignore the pressures to conform, and stop letting other people dictate the direction of your life. When you breathe your last breath, will you be proud of what you’ve done, or will you wish you’d have followed your heart?

Be (a little) selfish. Stop trying to make other people happy. If you’re always concerned with how other people feel, you’re ignoring your own desires. It’s important to make your feelings known. But it’s just as important to know when to compromise…you don’t want to be a douche. Be pragmatic.

You’re in control. Now do something about it!