Author Archives: Steven

‘Tis the Season

11 December 2011

4 Comments

You may have noticed that we’re balls deep in the holiday season, that wonderful time of year when mindless consumerism becomes even more socially acceptable than normal. Traditionally, I’ve opted out of the holiday season, asking that people don’t buy me any gifts. I’m fortunate to have everything I could ever need, and most of what I want.

I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them. ~ John Stuart Mill

But it’s not because I have everything I need that I opt out of the Christmas gift exchange. It’s because I feel like the meaning of the season has been lost. And every year it just seems to get worse. Since I’m not a religious person, it might be ironic or even hypocritical that I complain about the meaning of Christmas being lost. I don’t celebrate Christmas because it’s Jesus’ birthday, the true meaning of the holiday. Like many people, I celebrate because Christmas has become a part of the American culture, whether you’re Christian or not. I can only imagine how Christians feel about the current status of their holiday as an excuse for hordes of shoppers to pepper spray each other over an Xbox 360.

Christmas is about people, though you’d never know from all of the commercials where it’s all about the HDTVs, iPads, Victoria’s Secret lingerie, diamond necklaces…the implication being that to show your love, you must do so with material possessions. Have we really lost all capacity to express our love and affection for one another without the exchange of gifts?

Can you even remember what you got for Christmas last year?

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t exchange gifts. Rather, it’s a plea that we lessen the importance of the gifts by refocusing our energy on the people. Besides, it’s a little too late to thrust it upon your family that there won’t be any presents under the tree this year. It’s hard to change tradition. I know, I’ve tried.

Here are a few ways to lessen the importance of the gifts by refocusing our energy on people:

  • Open gifts Christmas night instead of in the morning. Instead of opening presents in the morning, and then having everyone absorbed with their new toys for the rest of the day, open them after you’ve eaten dinner.
  • Spend the day together doing something as a family. If you’re fortunate enough to have a white Christmas, you could have a snowball fight, go ice skating, or you could spend the day sledding, skiing or snowboarding.
  • Volunteer. What better way to focus your energy on people than to volunteer to help those less fortunate?
  • Go caroling. Your neighbors will love it!
  • Watch Christmas movies. Snuggle up on the couch with your family with cups of hot chocolate and candy canes. Some of my favorite movies are National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and It’s a Wonderful Life.

Changing tradition can be difficult, but it’s worth it. There’s nothing more important than family, not even that new iPad under the tree.

What Christmas traditions do you and your family celebrate?

The Duality of Man

25 September 2011

6 Comments

Moments after announcing the addition of my latest goal, Goal #160) Throw a hand grenade, a reader pointed out that such a goal seemed at odds with my ambition of joining the Peace Corps, saying:

“Hmmmm.  I thought you wanted in the PEACE Corps.  I sense some irony here…”

And (undoubtedly) what they meant by “irony,” was actually “hypocrisy.” By definition, hypocrisy is claiming to have certain moral standards or beliefs to which our behavior does not conform. But does the appearance of being at odds make them so? Would throwing a hand grenade make me a hypocrite? What about the intent behind those actions? Is it possible to throw a hand grenade and promote world peace and friendship?

When I first read the comment, I was reminded of the scene in Full Metal Jacket when Private Joker is asked why he’s wearing a peace button on his jacket, and has “Born to Kill” written across his helmet. “I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.” The duality of man. The internal struggle between good and evil. Is my desire to throw a hand grenade some sort of manifestation of my “evil” side? I doubt it. Isn’t it just possible that I want to throw a hand grenade because I think it’d be fun?

“It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.” ~ William Shakespeare

There are those who claim money is, or that guns are, evil. I don’t believe either is true. Guns and money have no capacity in and of themselves for good or ill. They’re inanimate objects. In the wrong hands, both can be used to cause harm. The capacity for humans to do evil things doesn’t make the objects with which they carry out those actions evil.

And a hand grenade is no different…

An Inconvenient Truth

17 September 2011

21 Comments

I don’t know about you, but I like being right. When I’m arguing with someone and I know they’re wrong, it feels good! And (maybe not surprisingly) I feel like I’m right most of the time. But how would I know if I’m wrong about something?

What’s it feel like to be wrong?

When we’re wrong, we don’t know we’re wrong. And if we don’t know we’re wrong, being wrong must feel exactly the same as being right. That makes it pretty difficult to know when we’re right about something, and when we’re wrong. So if being wrong feels the same as being right, chances are I’m wrong about something at least once in a while…probably more often than I can imagine.

I suppose we all are. And why wouldn’t we be?

We do nothing to challenge our beliefs. We surround ourselves with people who have the same values and opinions as us. We gather information from sources that reinforce our biases. Those whose opinions differ from our own are brushed off, regardless of the validity of their argument. We spend our lives thinking we know best. That our choices are superior than those of others. We believe we know better than everyone we encounter who has a different way of thinking, a belief system that’s inconsistent with our own, or whose political persuasion conflicts with the “truths” that we consider to be self-evident.

But can we be right all of the time? About everything? Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, we’re not quite as smart as we think? That despite our best intentions, our perception is all wrong? Maybe there’s another way of thinking about things. A way that’s different, but equally valid…

As smart as we are, we won’t always be right, which is why we need to keep an open mind and be willing to look at things from another angle and through a different filter. Our biases keep us locked into a very specific, and very limited way of thinking. Our political persuasion predisposes us to a certain way of thinking. Our filters and biases are why some people see art, while others see pornography. (Which do you see? Leave a comment below.)

Truth is subjective.

And if truth is subjective, does that mean our beliefs are no more (or less) valid than those of people who believe exactly the opposite? In the photo above, did you see art or pornography? Why did you see what you saw, and why can another person look at the same photo and see something different? We can look at the same photo but see different things because our biases and filters color our perception of reality. Of what is, and what isn’t. Of what’s right and what’s wrong. Moral and immoral.

But what we see through our filter doesn’t make it so. It’s only interpretation…our interpretation. What we believe to be truth is our perception based on past experiences and current beliefs. Others may have a different interpretation.

The next time you feel absolute in your opinion, ask yourself if it’s possible you could be wrong. You just might be.

(Everything I’ve written here is my interpretation of truth. Your interpretation may vary.)