No one wants to be told they’re fucking up, that their idea sucks, or that they’re going to fail. We’d like to think we always know what’s best for us, and that we’re more than capable of accomplishing anything we set our minds to. Afterall, haven’t we always been told we can be or do whatever we want? That all we have to do is try…
So why all the hate?
No matter who you are, as long as you’re doing something out of the ordinary, there’ll be someone (or a group of people) that criticizes your every move. They will tell you you’re doing it wrong or complain about how you’re doing what you’re doing, claiming they’d do it so much better than you.
But they’re not. They’re not the one out there doing it. You are!
And people make mistakes. It’s easy for someone to sit back and watch you fail, only to point their finger and say, “I told you so.” We hang our heads in shame, knowing they’re right. They did tell us we’d fail from the beginning. How could we have ever been so stupid to think that we’d actually succeed?
But what about all the times when you didn’t fail? If all someone ever tells you is that you’re going to fail, or that you’re making a mistake, of course they’ll be right once in a while. Hell, even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. So, what about those times that you didn’t fail?
No matter what you do in life, no matter how hard you try to do what you think is right, someone will be there to tell you it’s a bad idea, and that you’ll fail. Maybe they’re right. Maybe you will fail. But if you never try in the first place, isn’t that a failure just the same?
I’ve made a lot of mistakes.
I make them everyday. I say and do things I regret and I regret things I don’t say or do. I offend people. I hurt people’s feelings. But I also do a lot of things right in a day. And so, while I walk through my life making mistakes, I also do my best to bring positive energy to the world, to help people in need, and fight for what I believe is right. I couldn’t do any of that without fucking up from time to time.
Why is it so difficult to see ourselves?
And while it might seem that critics are the wrong type of people to have around, they might just be your strongest weapon. When you have people telling you that you’re making mistakes, listen to them. They’re probably on to something. When you live with yourself all your life, sometimes it’s hard to realize when you’re doing something wrong, or making mistakes.
“You can’t smell your own shit on your knees.” ~ Marilyn Manson
Pay attention to your critics, but try not to let them get you down. Use them instead to create a better you. Keep doing what you’re doing, fight for what you believe in, keep making mistakes, and grow.
I’ve always had that mentality of “I’ll show them.” Even people that weren’t even necessarily my critics, I may have still felt like I was at odds with them or in competition with them and worked to be better than them, to be the “winner” in a one sided contest. I’m not sure if this is the right way to look at things but its certainly been part of my drive in life.
Okay, so I’ve made quite a few mistakes in my time, some huge ones, ones I’ll always be judged on. But judged by others, I have made piece with them. I have grown and come to a place of forgiveness. I am “me”. Now if you ask my mother, she’ll tell you how I’ve failed. She is my “best” critic. But I stopped along time ago looking for approval. I like where I am, where I might go. I do not live in the past. I, no matter how hard I might try, can never change the past. Instead, I only look at what I can do today, or tomorrow. I have things that are important to me, I am a good person. My job is being a good mom. I make mistakes, but I do believe that I am doing a very good job. I guess I’m getting too old to worry about the critics out there. Honestly, when did they ask for my opinion anyway?
I think it’s important for us to listen to critics and take what they say and try to make yourself or whatever you’re presenting better. There’s always room for suggestion.
I agree with everything you have to say here…but more importantly I’m thrilled to see a Marilyn Manson reference in such a motivational post. I’m formerly a huge fan (and currently a closeted one…don’t tell my girlfriend).
I love Marilyn Manson and think it’s something to be incredibly proud of! ;)