Independence, “The Rules,” and Asking for Permission

As Independence Day approaches, Chris Guillebeau asked his Twitter followers “What does independence mean to you?”

For some people, independence means having enough money to quit their job to travel around the world, while for others it’s about having a reliable source of income and a couple weeks of vacation each year. By definition, independence is “freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.”

Independence, for me, means not having to ask for permission to live my life. It’s not always easy.

The vast majority of people (myself included) are required to operate within a certain framework of rules on a daily basis. At work, there are procedures that must be followed and policies to guide our decisions. “The Rules” exist to create an environment of equality, to dictate a standard for quality, and to maintain a certain level of productivity. The Rules serve a purpose.

But the problem with rules is that they’re rules. And because “rules are rules,” the people “in charge” aren’t able to consider the needs of employees on an individual basis. A common refrain from management is “If I make an exception for you, I’d have to make an exception for everyone.” This argument is a logical fallacy (known as the Slippery Slope), but it’s often reason enough to have our needs brushed aside and ignored. Our lives are at the mercy of The Rules.

 If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission.

We’ve grown accustomed to being told what to do. For years we’ve let other people dictate our lives. We’ve been taught to follow The Rules and ask for permission. We’ve had to cancel plans to work late, missed events because we had deadlines to meet, and our entire lives are scheduled around our work schedules.

What a bunch of shit!

It’s time to stop asking for permission to live our lives, and it’s time to stop following someone else’s set of rules. It’s time we stop letting our lives be influenced by imaginary obstacles…obstacles which are little more than lame excuses we use to convince ourselves that we can’t have the life we want and are the reason we believe we have to play by the rules: money, time, security.

Here’s the truth:

You’re only limited by your own choices, and the only rules you have to follow are the ones you want to follow. You’re the only person whose permission you need to ask for. You’ve created this life, and only you have the power to change it. If you’re sick of playing by someone else’s rules, it’s time to stand up for yourself.

Demand change.

At work. From your boss. From yourself. At home. From your spouse. From your children.

It’s your life! Stop asking other people for permission to live it!

For Love

Earlier this month, Nik Wallenda walked across Niagara Falls on a tightrope. He was the first person to cross the gorge in over a hundred years, and the first person ever to do it over the brink of the falls. Walking across Niagara Falls had been his dream since he was six years old. And now he’s done it! Congratulations to Nik for making his childhood dream a reality!

His next walk will be across the Grand Canyon…

While I know Nik loves what he’s doing and I hate to question his motives, I do have to wonder why he keeps choosing such iconic locations to set up his tightrope. Doing so makes these events seem like little more than publicity stunts done for fame, recognition, and notoriety. If he were to set up his tightrope in some nondescript location, no one would care.  If not for Niagara Falls being the backdrop of his latest performance, ABC wouldn’t have broadcast the event live, and there wouldn’t have been hundreds of newspaper and blog articles written about him.

Although Nik holds six Guinness records and comes from a family with a long history of daredevils, his name isn’t one most people would recognize. These events, along with a reality show and an autobiography, will surely help elevate his celebrity status…

You might not know that there are people out there everyday walking across canyons hundreds of feet deep with little fanfare, no media hype, and without a $1.3 million dollar budget. The networks aren’t broadcasting these “events” live on primetime TV to 13.1 million viewers. There aren’t crowds of 120,000 spectators cheering them on. These guys and girls are out there for love and passion.

It’s human nature to want to be recognized for our actions. But when our actions are motivated more by the recognition than by desire, passion, and love, we’re placing more value on the opinions of other people than we are on our own sense of accomplishment. If we’re doing what we love, just being able to do it is reward enough. There’s no need for fame, fortune or notoriety.

Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.

If you’re doing something that matters, the recognition will follow. If you’re living passionately, people will pay attention. Let the attention you receive from others be the by-product of your actions, not the driving force. Our actions shouldn’t be motivated by the attention we’ll receive. We shouldn’t spend our lives trying to impress other people. We should live our lives following our hearts and doing what we love. It should be love that is the source of our inspiration.

Love is all you need.

STFU and Change Your Life!

I’ll get straight to the point and leave the inspiring narratives for another day. Right now it’s time for a kick in the ass…

I often encounter people who feel victimized by life.

According to them, there’s no justice. If you listen long enough, you’d think the world exists for the sole purpose of making their lives hell. Yet, they seem content to just bitch about it instead of doing anything to fix the problem.

If you’re one of these people, you can’t do nothing and expect things to change. Feeling sorry for yourself, walking away from your problems, and complaining all do nothing to improve your situation. Instead of bitching and moaning about how terrible your life is, do something about it!

If you feel like you’re not living up to your potential, figure out why. Find what’s holding you back, create a plan to overcome that roadblock in your life, follow through with that plan and move forward. If someone’s treating you like shit, stand up for yourself. Tell them to stop. If that doesn’t work, maybe you don’t need that person in your life. If you’re not earning enough money to pay the bills, find a different job and/or stop wasting your money on things you don’t need. Are you bored with your life? Do something … here’s a huge list of ideas for you!

Improving your life isn’t difficult. You just have to quit bitching and start doing. With enough hard work and determination, you can have the life you want.

Go!