Your Struggles Give You Character

A goal isn’t a goal if it is easy to accomplish.  A goal is something that you have to work at.  A goal means challenging yourself, facing a fear, overcoming disadvantage, taking charge, living proactively instead of reactively.  Goals require hard work and perseverance.  At times, you will falter.  You will struggle.  You may fail.  Through it all, it isn’t the accomplishment that is important but that you pushed yourself through the challenges in order to succeed.

It is easy to stand on the sideline and watch the world move around you while you wish away your life.  I know, I’ve done it.  A large portion of my teenage years were spent smoking pot, listening to rock n’ roll and sleeping.  While none of these things individually are the reason why I was unmotivated to be successful, they were my escape from reality.  It was my way of ignoring the fact that I was failing to live up to my potential.  I was insecure, I doubted my ability, I was afraid.  Worst of all, I was comfortable.  I had become complacent and accepted my mediocre existence.

It took a long time for me to realize that life has so many opportunities to offer and that I was missing out.  Getting thrown in jail really helped me to understand the path that my life was taking.  In many ways, sitting in a jail cell with no one to talk to, coming down from my high, was the best moment in my life.  I knew that I needed to change my life.

Just like people struggle to lose weight or struggle to finish running a marthon, I struggled to get away from drugs.  I lost all of my friends and it was hard to change my lifestyle.  I fell back into drugs a couple of times before finally walking away from it for good but the struggle was worth the effort.  I am able to reflect back on that moment of my life and appreciate the lessons I have learned.

It is easy to be discouraged when things don’t work out as we had planned or if results are not as immediate as we would like.  We forget that success isn’t something that happens overnight.  When we think about climbing a mountain, we envision ourselves standing at the summit, casting our gaze towards the distant horizon but forget about the six hour hike to the top.

Success comes to those who are willing to persist during moments of struggle and pain.  Our struggles and perseverance are what set us apart.  Those who stick it out will see the rewards of their efforts and those who don’t, won’t.  It is your struggles that give you character.  Your struggles make you who you are today.

What is Your Master Plan?

"Sail boat" by Nuno Vasco Rodrigues @ Flickr

Without goals, our lives are like a ship without sails.  The winds of potential blow strong against our mast but with no sail to capture the energy we are left stationary, floating quietly with no command over the direction the waves push us.

Having goals allows us to hoist our sails high into the air and in an instant we are skipping across the surface of the water.  Our sails are filled with energy from the wind and our eyes are focused on the sliver of land that has just peaked out from the ocean blue.  Our destination comes into focus and as we arrive upon the shore we have learned a powerful lesson; if we create goals and harness our ambition & passion, we will realize our dreams.

If we are ships upon the sea with no focus or direction, what can we do to raise our sails and capture the wind?

Something I don’t spend much time discussing is the power of long-term goals.  My list of 100 Goals consists mostly of milestone accomplishments, things that once accomplished can be crossed off the list.  Crossing a goal off the list is a moment of satisfaction; knowing that I’ve done something great and meaningful in my life but once that goal is crossed off, it is done.  The moment has passed & I am looking forward to the next milestone that I can work towards accomplishing.

While I wouldn’t change any of the experiences I’ve had in using this method to accomplish my goals, the question that begs to be answered is this: “What happens when I have accomplished everything I want to do in my life?  What will I be left with?”

The answer is to have a Master Plan; a series of successive goals that will ultimately lead to what we envision our Perfect Life to be.  A Master Plan requires knowing where you want your life to be and figuring out a way to get there from where you are today.   It requires you to be proactive and take intentional steps in order to make your plan a reality.  It requires discipline, determination and flexibility.

Creating Your Master Plan

Too often we find ourselves ignoring our dreams of a Perfect Life because we tell ourselves that they are not grounded in reality.  Before we allow our desires to blossom into anything more than a passing thought, we stifle ourselves.  We are blocking our own success and happiness.  There will always be a reason why we “can’t” do something and now it is time to ignore those excuses and begin to create your Master Plan.

Close your eyes and envision your Perfect Life.  What do you see?  Are you working with panda bears in a sanctuary?  Are you backpacking the Appalachian Trail?  Maybe you are relaxing in your backyard drinking lemonade watching your children playing on the swing set.  No matter what you see, you have found your destination.  Now it is time to figure out how you will get there.

Usually at this point you would push your dreams aside with thoughts of “reality”, all the reasons why you are unable to pursue your dreams.  I want you to consider all of these excuses about why you can’t follow your dream but I need you to change your perspective.  Instead of using them as reasons why you can’t follow your dream, think of them as challenges to beat.  Don’t use them as an excuse any longer.  Use them as motivation.  Instead of feeling overwhelmed, find a way to overcome these challenges.  Your plan should be ambitious yet realistic.

The next phase in accomplishing your Master Plan is to figure out what steps you must take in order to position yourself to make your dream possible.  Will your Perfect Life require a career change?  Do you need to further your education? If your Perfect Life requires you to get a degree or certificate, enroll in classes, even if that means taking one class a semester for the time being.  If you need to change your career, start submitting resumes and begin networking with people who are in the field that you want to break into.  Prepare to Quit Your Job.

Ultimately, your Master Plan is about having a long-term goal to pursue while using short-term goals as a means for making progress towards your Perfect Life.  A Master Plan is not something that happens overnight.  My own Master Plan has been in the works for nearly 5 years, and I am only now really beginning to fully understand what it is that I want in my own life.  Progress is slow but steady and each day is a new opportunity.  Today is your opportunity to make a change in your life, an opportunity to start working towards your Perfect Life.  No more excuses, no more hesitation.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  You decide what that means for you.

Punch Life in the Face

Punch Life in the Face

When the going gets tough, the tough get…no, that’s not reality.  In reality, when things get hard people quit.  They give up.  Instead of breaking a sweat, shedding a tear or losing a little blood they take the easy route and do nothing.  It is easier to accept defeat & tell yourself that it is too hard, that you aren’t smart enough, you aren’t pretty enough, strong enough.  For every inaction we find an excuse that will suit our situation.  Hell, we may even convince ourselves.

It is time to stop making excuses.  It is time to quit being a quitter.  It is time to get off your ass and do something with your life.  Yes, you might struggle.  You might feel pain.  You may even cry but if you don’t do something with your life why are you even here?  It is time to start living.  It is time to stand up and punch life in the face.

Too often we accept our lives the way they are, even if we aren’t happy with them.  We are miserable at work, our relationship with our spouse sucks, our kids hate us, we waste our time doing absolutely nothing.  Our joy in life is derived from a bottle; we can’t even relax without a glass of wine to settle ourselves.  This is our life and it sucks.

When I was 16 years old I was a loser.  My life was consumed with drugs and alcohol.  If I wasn’t high or drunk I was in the process of getting there.  Two days after I turned 18 I was arrested.  I had just gotten high a few minutes before being handcuffed & taken to jail.  I spent that night in my cell thinking about where my life had gone wrong & how I was going to change it.

I realized that I was fucking up my life.  It wasn’t only the drugs & alcohol that were the problem.  I was wasting my time.  I couldn’t turn the clock back and recapture those years.  They were gone & there was no getting them back.

In order to change my life I had to turn my back on everything & everyone.  This was hard for me.  It meant losing friends.  It meant making major changes in my life.  I had created a lifestyle for myself & people expected me to be that person.  For a while I struggled to get sober.  I didn’t want to disappoint my friends when they wanted to get high with me.  Eventually I came to realize that I needed to change my life for me and not live my life as a consequence of other people.

Once I figured this out I made the changes I needed.  I quit drinking & doing drugs entirely.  I have been clean for almost 9 years.

What does all of this have to do with you?  Maybe you don’t drink or get high but I have no doubt that you are wasting your life with things that are just as stupid; video games, television, Internet, gambling, celebrities, work…anything that takes time away from the person you want to become deep down inside.

It is so much easier to do nothing than to do something.  If I hadn’t been arrested & had the time to sober up and reflect on where my life had come and where I was going maybe I wouldn’t have changed.  I wouldn’t have traveled around the country & now the world.  I would probably still be sitting in my bedroom taking hits from my bong and eating Milk Duds watching the world move around me.

Get off your ass and grab life by the balls.  Do something that you’ve always wanted to do but have told yourself you “couldn’t” for whatever reason.  Stop lying to yourself.  Life will go on with or without you.  Just remember that you can never make up for lost time.  Never.