Author Archives: Steven

That’s Fucking Stupid

16 March 2011

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No one wants to be told they’re fucking up, that their idea sucks, or that they’re going to fail. We’d like to think we always know what’s best for us, and that we’re more than capable of accomplishing anything we set our minds to. Afterall, haven’t we always been told we can be or do whatever we want? That all we have to do is try…

So why all the hate?

No matter who you are, as long as you’re doing something out of the ordinary, there’ll be someone (or a group of people) that criticizes your every move. They will tell you you’re doing it wrong or complain about how you’re doing what you’re doing, claiming they’d do it so much better than you.

But they’re not. They’re not the one out there doing it. You are!

And people make mistakes. It’s easy for someone to sit back and watch you fail, only to point their finger and say, “I told you so.” We hang our heads in shame, knowing they’re right. They did tell us we’d fail from the beginning. How could we have ever been so stupid to think that we’d actually succeed?

But what about all the times when you didn’t fail? If all someone ever tells you is that you’re going to fail, or that you’re making a mistake, of course they’ll be right once in a while. Hell, even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. So, what about those times that you didn’t fail?

No matter what you do in life, no matter how hard you try to do what you think is right, someone will be there to tell you it’s a bad idea, and that you’ll fail. Maybe they’re right. Maybe you will fail. But if you never try in the first place, isn’t that a failure just the same?

I’ve made a lot of mistakes.

I make them everyday. I say and do things I regret and I regret things I don’t say or do. I offend people. I hurt people’s feelings. But I also do a lot of things right in a day. And so, while I walk through my life making mistakes, I also do my best to bring positive energy to the world, to help people in need, and fight for what I believe is right. I couldn’t do any of that without fucking up from time to time.

Why is it so difficult to see ourselves?

And while it might seem that critics are the wrong type of people to have around, they might just be your strongest weapon. When you have people telling you that you’re making mistakes, listen to them. They’re probably on to something. When you live with yourself all your life, sometimes it’s hard to realize when you’re doing something wrong, or making mistakes.

“You can’t smell your own shit on your knees.” ~ Marilyn Manson

Pay attention to your critics, but try not to let them get you down. Use them instead to create a better you. Keep doing what you’re doing, fight for what you believe in, keep making mistakes, and grow.

The Moments that Change Our Life

3 February 2011

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When was the moment that you realized who you are, what you love or what you’re supposed to do with your life?

In my life, I’ve experienced many of these moments, from being arrested and realizing that getting fucked up everyday wasn’t the life I wanted to the road trip to the Rocky Mountains with my friends where I found my passion for travel.  Both of these moments caused a fundamental shift in my thinking and instantly changed the direction of my life.

When I was arrested, I promised myself that I’d do whatever it took to get myself clean, even if it meant losing every friend I had and starting over from scratch, which is exactly what happened.  The road trip gave me a chance to see the world beyond the limits of my small Midwestern town and after that trip, I saw life from a different perspective and a new way of thinking.

And while I didn’t realize it at the time, my hike to the top of Half Dome in Yosemite National Park also helped define who I am today.  I’ve been reminiscing about that trip in my mind, thinking about the beauty of the park, the challenge of the climb and the triumph of reaching the top.  The sore knees and the other pains have long since faded and now I’m left with only fond memories.

I want to go back.

Thinking about everything I want to accomplish this year and the amount of time I have to do it, it’s time to start prioritizing.  Turkey, Russia, Ethiopia, Japan, New England, Yosemite are all on the radar this year but I only have a few weeks in which I can dedicate myself to travel due to summer classes.

I miss Planet Earth.

When I travel, I’m visiting huge cities like Paris, Rome or Buenos Aires and spend a lot of my time riding subways, taking taxis and breathing exhaust.  I long for the solitude of the forests and the thrill of climbing mountains.  There’s something special about a bear and her cub walking next to you in the wild, about getting your boots dusty and the feeling of a cool mountain river to soothe your body after a long hike.

So, while I might not be wandering around the bazaars of Istanbul or doing hand stands in Red Square this year, maybe I’ll return to my favorite place on the planet instead.

A Job Title Doesn’t Define You

1 February 2011

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Where do we find purpose and meaning in today’s world?

For many of us, these things come from our career. Society defines who we are by our job title and often, it’s how we define ourselves. It’s true, we all have to make a living, but it’s all too common for us to also derive our value as a person based on the work we do.

We measure success with job titles and happiness by salary. The second question anyone ever asks when they meet someone new, after their name, is, “So…What do you do?”

“What do I do?” Well, I do a lot of things. A job doesn’t define who I am. It’s how I earn a living.

It’s possible to have a meaningful life, but trying to find it as a cog in the corporate machine is  futile. A job doesn’t give a person purpose or make them valuable. Purpose isn’t (or maybe I should say, shouldn’t be) derived from how we earn a living. That’s true whether you’re an entrepreneur or an office worker. Really, how anyone earns a paycheck is equally unimportant. It’s only money. It’s how we pay the bills.

It’s like trying to define someone by which hand they wipe their ass with.

Unless you’re doing something you really love, work is nothing more than a way to pay the bills. You might enjoy some of the work some of the time but when the day is over, you go home. This is where you engage in real life and it’s here where you ought to find your life purpose, with friends and family, spending time together and engaging in things that bring absolute satisfaction.

Go to work and work hard. Earn that money! But don’t, even for a minute, think a job or a position in some company is a “purpose.” Your purpose in life isn’t to earn a dollar bill.

But what about people who save puppies?

I’ll admit, there are people who do very meaningful work, but even for these people, to define themselves by their work is bad strategy. Surely there must be more to them than their career!

If you work in a career you love and are fortunate enough to be paid for doing that work, kudos to you. It’s the ideal that so many people search for their entire lives. But what about those people who will never love their job? The people who had to settle just to survive?

Or what about the people who hate their life because they loathe their job?

I’ve been there. I earned a decent wage working at a job I hated. And I let my hatred for my work infiltrate every aspect of my life, my mind and my soul, even when I wasn’t working. Why? Because I defined myself as a person by the job I had. No amount of money is worth hating life.

The point here isn’t that Corporate America is evil (even though it is), it’s that how we earn our paycheck doesn’t define who we are as people.