Author Archives: Steven

Motivation

28 January 2009

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We’ve all seen those cheap framed posters hanging in our boss’s office, the ones with the slogans about motivation, determination and leadership.  As silly as these posters seem to some people, for others this is all that is needed to give them a reminder of their values.  Certainly some of our supervisors and managers could spend a bit more time looking at these posters.

Unfortunately for me, it takes a bit more than a poster to get me going.  I’ve found that I operate much better when I have someone else to motivate me.  Even if it is something that I know I should be doing, like exercising, it is very difficult to get to the gym.

Motivation works the other way as well.  Being around people who are lazy and unambitious can cause you to be the same.  What can you do to keep your eyes on the prize and stay motivated?

Find a friend who you know motivates you.  If you have trouble getting out of bed to go to the gym, find a friend who works out regularly who wouldn’t mind having you tag along.  Knowing that someone is expecting you to show up at the gym will motivate you more, as keeping your word to that person is probably more important to you than getting on the Stair Master.

Be aware of those that cause you to stray from your ambitions.  Don’t abandon your friends, just be aware how they affect your personality.  If you are trying to get out of debt, don’t go to Best Buy with a friend who is a compulsive spender.  Try to eliminate moments of temptation.  Find other things you can do with this friend.  Take a walk to the park and toss around a Frisbee.  There are numerous activities in your community that won’t cost you a dime. 

Always try to keep your goals in the forefront of your mind, and act in a way which is conducive to achieving those goals.  Be aware of your weaknesses.  Look for help from people who are already doing whatever it is you want to do.  Expect to screw-up, but when you do, don’t throw in the towel, keep moving forward.  Forward progress is the only way towards success.

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.”

     -Karen Ravn

Goals & Relationships

27 January 2009

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There are many factors in maintaining a healthy, loving and lasting relationship with your significant other; trust, honesty, fidelity and communication.  How many of us are in a relationship but aren’t sure what our girlfriend’s, boyfriend’s, husband’s or wive’s goals are?  An even bigger question might be, “Do our goals conflict?”

Sometimes goals are very personal and do not directly impact another person.  Some goals on the other hand may require huge life changes or taking a direction that your companion isn’t comfortable taking.  When conflicts like this arise, and likely they will, what can a person do?

First, talk to your partner.  Be direct, honest and open about why the goal is important to you.  Express yourself in a constructive way, don’t get defensive or accuse your partner of being unsupportive.  Maybe they just don’t understand your reason for wanting to do something.  It is possible that they are afraid and worry about your well-being.  Remember, they love you.

Second, listen to their feelings.  Not only listen to what they say, but really try to understand how they feel.  How would you feel if you were in their shoes?  Be honest.  Don’t just tell yourself you’d be supportive because that is what you want from them.

Third, come to an agreement.  Don’t try to win an arguement, instead, find compromise.  Getting your way at the expense of your partner’s feelings will only damage the relationship.  Try to find a solution that works for both of you.

Mutual Goals

Relationships can be strengthened through sharing common goals.  Maybe the goal is going to Hawaii next winter, or working together to remodel the upstairs bathroom.  Maybe the goal is to become debt-free.  Whatever the goal, having something to work on together forms strong emotional bonds in relationships.

Even with mutual goals, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about those goals.  There may be lingering uncertainty and open and honest dialogue will help to resolve any anxiety your partner may have. 

Talk to your partner, share your dreams and walk through life hand in hand accomplishing everything you desire in life.  Life is more fun when there is someone to share the joy of success, and much easier when they are there to offer support and motivation when the goal seems impossible.

“Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.”

     -Author Unknown

Finding Your Path

26 January 2009

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I’m sure everyone remembers when they were in grade school being asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  I felt like I was the only child in the room who didn’t have a clue.  In high school I remember the kids talking about going to college.  They would ask each other, “What’s your major going to be?”  I wouldn’t be going to college, I had enough of school.

After graduating I started working in retail earning a low wage.  I still wasn’t sure what I wanted out of life.  I continued working at this job even though I was struggling to get by.  I didn’t have the motivation to push myself to do anything better.  I didn’t have a plan.  I thought that this was what life would be like for me.  I was coasting through life with no clear focus about what was important to me or what I should be doing.  I was letting life kick me around.

It wasn’t until I had my life turned upside down that I realized that my “plan” wasn’t working for me.  I found myself completely broke with a low paying job, drowning in consumer debt.  I felt that I would be stuck in low paying retail work for the rest of my life, always struggling to pay the bills and make rent.  I needed a change.

I enrolled in community college and began my education.  I quit my retail job for a higher paying job.  I was on my way to better things.  I was at the beginning of my journey and though I still wasn’t sure where it would lead, I knew that I had to start somewhere. 

Sometimes we find ourselves in bad situations.  We feel like we are stuck.  We think that there is nothing that we can do to change our stations in life.  Had I not had my “comfortable” life turned upside down, I might still be doing the same thing that I was doing back then, even though it wasn’t working for me.  I knew it wasn’t working for me, but I was complacent.  I felt like this was the hand that life had dealt to me.  I didn’t realize that the life I had was the life I chose for myself.  Every choice I made had lead me to that point and it wasn’t anyone else’s fault.  I also didn’t realize that I was the only person who could change my life.

The journey of life isn’t always a walk in the park, sometimes it can feel more like a walking in a dark cave.  Remember this, life is whatever you make it.  You have all of the control to be rich or poor, healthy or sick, fat or slim.  Life is the result of your actions or inactions and of the choices you make.  Don’t settle for less than your true potential.